Miami Misadventures: Part I - "Entertainment"

Last week, I took an extended Labor Day vacation to Miami with 2 of my girls. The trip was AMAZING. We lived like royalty at the Ritz South Beach, ate extravagant meals in Miami’s hottest restaurants, and stayed out dancing at trendy clubs until the wee early hours of the morning. I seriously felt like a movie star. But, this is ME we are talking about, so naturally we were bound to have some “wacky” adventures mixed into our stay.

Our first night in town, we made our way to the wildly popular Mansion nightclub per the suggestion of our cool, 20-something concierge. He told us that he would “try” to get us on the VIP list, but couldn’t make any promises since the clubs are so busy over Labor Day Weekend. The club was HUGE and the line was even bigger. There had to be at least 100 people stretched along the side of the building and around the corner. Of course, we stormed right past the line and up to the bouncer to inform him we were on “the list”.

Upon entering the club, the first thing that caught my attention was a girl in a black unitard with the body of a model and the face of a crack whore dancing on a stripper pole high above the crowd. In case there was any doubt of this girl’s function in the club, emblazoned across her rear in bright yellow letters was the word “entertainment”. The next thing I noticed that the three of us were noticeably out of place. Not only did we not meet the club’s dress code of jeans and air force ones, we were the only white people in the place. Ah well, our concierge said this was the “place to be”, so we hit the dance floor. After an hour of booty shaking, we decided to leave as none of us recognized ANY of the hard-core gangsta’ hip-hop songs being played. It certainly wasn't a classy establishment that one might expect to be steered toward by a Ritz conceirge.

I’m not sure how we missed it on our way in, but the name of the club, SOBE Live, was plastered ALL OVER the building. It was on a banner above the door, on the door itself, and was etched into EVERY window spanning the length of the building. Of course, right next door was an equally large club with a GIGANTIC lit "MANSION" marquee.

I’m not sure which is funnier, the fact that we missed ALL the signs and went into the wrong club or the fact that we breezed into the wrong club past a line of 100+ people by falsely claiming to be on the VIP list. Either way, our mistake proved to be very “entertaining”.