Miami Misadventures: Part II - Clubbin' with the Colombian Cartel

To pick up from where I left off in the last post, we finally found the Holy Grail of Miami nightclubs. As the concierge had feared, Mansion was not keeping a VIP list due to Labor Day crowds… and there was QUITE a crowd. We debated heading back to the hotel, but instead opted to play the “pick-me, pick-me” velvet rope waiting game for a little while. Thankfully, we didn’t have to wait long. (Sometimes having breasts pays off.) The place was AWESOME and we had an UNBELIEVABLE time.

At one point in the evening, we “snuck” into the upstairs “high-rollers” area and ended up hanging with these guys that had a private table. The one guy, Matt, invited us to party with him and some of his friends the following evening at the ultra-exclusive club, Pearl. He was a really nice guy, so we agreed.

The next night at Pearl, a few red flags were raised:

• Matt is an Italian New York native who recently moved his business to Miami
• Matt’s “business” is International Shipping
• Matt lived in Israel for a few years to run his “shipping business”
• Matt met his friend, Fernando, only two days prior
• Fernando is only in town for a week on “business”
• Fernando lives in a “mountain town” in Colombia
• After exchanging some silent hand signals, Matt and Fernando disappear for over an hour to “go to the bathroom”
• Not long after returning, Fernando borrows Matt’s cell to place a call to Colombia at 4 IN THE MORNING

We had a great time with the fellahs, but something was definitely up. And if there was any remaining doubt, the evening ended with Fernando spending half an hour trying to convince me to go to Cuba. I kept waiting for him to say he knew someone with a really fast boat. I don't know about the boat, but we sure did make a fast getaway!