Cheese on the high seas

The weekend after Thanksgiving, I left DC to go sailing around the British Virgin Islands with my friend Kevin for a week. He rented a 32' sloop and I was his crew!

The trip was AMAZING. I felt like I was living in a Corona commercial! The water was emerald blue, the islands were lush and tropical, and I was able to snorkel with exotic fish and sea turtles. But, this is a blog about my misadventures, so I'll get to the good stuff...

For starters, the people who provisioned our ship made a mistake. They didn't charge us for it, but for several items they gave us double what we ordered. We had 4 chicken breasts, fish filets, and steaks instead of 2.

Kevin and I decided to get a package of Edam and Gouda cheese to eat with crackers, fruit, and wine. Of course, they could have slipped up and given us an extra bottle of wine, but OH NO. Instead, we ended up with 4 packages of EACH cheese. That's right... we had EIGHT POUNDS of cheese.

What makes this even better is that Kevin is lactose intolerant. He brought his medicine, but all the Lactaid in the world wasn't going to help us with that problem. It was all up to me. I was eating cheese sandwiches, cheese and fruit, cheese and crackers, cheese and cheese - well, you get the idea.

Yup. I had a Gouda time!

Thanksgiving turkeys

Whew! A lot has been going on!!! Sorry to leave you all in suspense, but now that I am home for Christmas, I'll have time to update you on my latest misadventures. My life has been a whirlwind ever since Thanksgiving, so that is where I will get started.

My friend Claudine invited me to spend the big day with her and her family. The evening had everything a traditional Thanksgiving gathering should have - mountains of food, plenty to drink, and wacky relatives. It was so much fun to sit in on their dinner as a stranger and observe their family dynamic.

Gathered around the table were Claudine, her mother and father, sister and brother-in-law, and her two young nieces and nephew. After we finished eating, the kids left the table to play. Naturally, Claudine adores her nieces and nephew. That said, she has a very low tolerance for noise... Especially when it is made by screaming children.

The look of dread on Claudine's face was priceless when her father left the table, threw a blanket over his head, and started chasing his grandchildren while spookingly claiming, "I am the ghooooost of Christmas paaaaaaaast!" The kids LOST IT. The little boy threw his hands over his ears and repeatedly screamed at the top of his lungs, "Turn it off!" Meanwhile, her older niece was letting out sonic squeals (I am still surprised no glass was shattered). The games halt temporarily whenever her baby niece would get hurt and start to wail. Kids get over things quick though, so it wasn't too long before they were begging Grandpa to be a scary ghost again.

I would have laughed harder at the whole situation had it not been for the fact that I felt a little sorry for my friend, whose head was throbbing. (That, and the fact that it hurt whenever I would laugh since my stomach was so full.)

Yup. It was awesome. As I said, all the makings of the perfect Thanksgiving. I do have a tip for Claudine though: Don't forget to give thanks for birth control and remember that the more you drink, the less likely you'll feel like covering up your OWN ears while praying, "TURN IT OFF!!!"