Ho boy. Where do I start...

Monday, January 22, 2007

Cheese on the high seas: Part III - Birds of Paradise

Between Kevin's television viewing habits and an occasional BVI beach chicken spotting, I couldn't help but think of my friend Greg while I was on vacation. I mostly thought of him because I would wonder how he and my birdie buddy, Norton, were getting along. I didn't have to wait long for an answer.

As soon as I got home, I found a note from Greg on my dining room table informing me that "Norton and I had a mostly good time, though he bit me a couple of times and tried to escape at one point." Apparently, after watching a bit of TV together, Norton hid under the sofa because he "doesn't like Growing Pains."

I wonder if Norton overheard me talk about Greg juggling poultry.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Cheese on the high seas: Part II - BVI Blunders

Some of you heard about my sailing classes last summer. I accidentally dropped my keys in the Chesapeake. I had to trawl the bottom of the bay with a huge magnet tied to a long piece of rope. It took me an hour, but the recovery effort was successful.

I wish I could say after considerable yachting practice I’ve gotten better. This time I dropped the boat hook into the Caribbean. It certainly wasn’t as dire as losing the keys to my car, apartment, and office, but the hook would have come in handy that evening when we tried to pick up a mooring ball.

As I stared down at the mooring ball trying to concoct a plan (I still think lassoing it would have worked), my shipmate sprung into action. In an act-first-think-later fashion, Kevin jumped into the dingy, tied the dingy to the ball, and then passed the rope attached to the ball to me on board. His plan worked pretty well until we literally had to cut the dingy free because he couldn’t untie it from the ball and was practically getting sucked under the ship. Minor details.

Kevin thinks he is Superman and, occasionally, he can pull it off. Then there are the other times…

It was our last day of vacation. We dropped off the Lazy Daze at the Marina and checked into a hotel near the airport. As I got out of the shower that evening, I saw Kevin lying across his bed on his belly; head resting in his hands (like a 13 year old girl) watching TV. The following transpired:

Kevin: Nice shower?
Mel:
Yes! (Pause) What are you watching? Is that… JANE AUSTEN?!?!
Kevin: Yeah. It is the new Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightly. I love this movie!
Mel: Sometimes I wonder about you, Kevin.
::: Kevin goes in to take his shower and returns a few minutes later :::
Mel: Nice shower?
Kevin: Yes! (Pause) What are you watching? Is that… FOOTBALL?!?!
Mel: Yeah. It is the SEC Championship. Arkansas and Florida are playing. I love this game!
Kevin: Sometimes I wonder about you, Mel.
Mel: ME?!?! I can't believe you chose Jane Austen over this!
Kevin: I don't follow any sports. Never got into it.

I may come across as Lucille Ball, but I’ll take fumbles any day over being a Superman who passes on a passing game. ;-D