Breaking the ties that Bond

I am a huge James Bond fan. (Now is the point where those who know me say that is the understatement of the year.) It is partly due to this that I have been absent from the blog as of late. I’ve been QUITE busy celebrating the release of Casino Royale.

In honor of Bond 21, a group of us dressed as characters from the Bond films for Halloween. I went as Vesper Lynd. :-D In addition, I attended a lecture at the Smithsonian on Ian Fleming’s novels. I threw a martini party one week before the premier. Friday, six of us caught the film on opening night. I caught the matinee on Sunday with a different group of friends. Monday night I saw it with the urban family.

I was on an “all time high”, but after seeing the movie three times in four days, on top of all the other "Bond" celebrations, even this fan was ready for a break.

Our company had a party last night. They HAD planned to take us to see The Producers at Warner Theatre, but the entire run was cancelled. Guess what a few of my coworkers suggested we do instead. Yup. Even after I planned not to see the film again, there were other forces at work. The office took a vote and (MUCH to my relief) the majority chose to see Legends at the National Theatre starring Joan Collins and Linda Evans. About 20 minutes into the first act, I felt like I was Bond being tortured by Le Chiffre. The play was HORRIBLE. Greg, who came as my date, fell asleep and all I could think was 1) how I wished I could take a nap too – and – 2) how Casino Royale would have been so much better a forth time.

Lesson Learned: Be careful what you wish for and ALWAYS “stick” to Bond.

Jane Austen sure does get a party started

I love going to concerts. Even better is the building anticipation and excitement that comes before the show.

Monday night, I met Greg at his apartment before heading to see singer/songwriter Kat Parsons. Each of us was throwing different CDs into his stereo to help get us psyched for the show. I put on Peter Gabriel’s Hits and was quickly rebuffed by Greg. “I’m sorry Mel, but I really need to listen to something more upbeat.”

Apparently the music GENIUS who brought us songs such as “Solsbury Hill”, “The Rhythm of the Heat”, “Shock the Monkey”, “Sledgehammer”, and “Big Time” doesn’t stir the soul into a pre-show frenzy. At least, that is, not as much as the INSTRUMENTAL MOVEMENTS from the major motion picture SOUNDTRACK TO EMMA.

I don’t know what Greg was thinking. I love Jane Austen and the music from her time, but I would hardly say she rocks more than Peter Gabriel. Although the music was lovely, it wasn't exactly effective in setting the mood for the show. While watching Kat perform, I started to crave tea biscuits.

Movin' on up!

I recently snagged some prime real estate in my office. I've moved to a desk near the window. I'm not going to hide my feelings - I FREAKING LOVE IT! The only downside is that our building is close to Dulles International Airport. Hundreds of times a day I'll look to the sky and think, "Wow. That plane is coming in awfully low. Is it? It is! It is going to hit us! OHDEARGAWD!!! …Whew. Okay. That was close. Back to work. Crap, here comes another one!!!”

Sure, I am living in fear. It is well worth it though, if for no other reason than to make my coworkers jealous. ;-D

"Trixie" and Treats

On the Saturday before Halloween, a few of us went out to celebrate my friend Gab’s birthday. We passed on playing dress up and instead went to some trendy restaurants and clubs in Penn Quarter. While sipping down specialty drinks at Zengo, Gab has a bright idea. “Let’s go to Archibald’s!” (For those of you not from around here, Archibald’s is a hole-in-the-wall STRIP CLUB.) Hey, it was her birthday, so we packed up and left this swank lounge to go to what is probably the biggest DIVE bar in this city. Talk about going from one extreme to another!

I had never been to a “gentleman’s club” before. Knowing this, Gab insisted I go tip the dancer. She grabbed me by the arm, stuffed a dollar bill in my hand, and led me to the stage. We were standing a foot away from a wiggling girl wearing NOTHING but a garter belt when the following conversation broke out.

Gab: Go ahead. Give her the money. Just stick it in her garter.
Mel: She won’t stay still. I’d have to touch her.
Gab: It’s okay. You can touch her.
Mel: Can’t I just hand her the dollar?
Dancer: It’s okay. You can touch me.
Mel: No offense, but I’d prefer not to.
::: Dancer rolls her eyes and pulls open her garter belt :::
Gab: Sorry. This is her first time. She’s a bit uncomfortable.
Dancer: What??? Oh sweetie, don't be nervous! Poor thing. Well, I am going to give you a hug whether you like it or not!
::: Dancer scoops me up into a big bear hug :::
Mel: Ummmm. Thanks?

I had a blast with my friends, but it was without question my weirdest Halloween ever. I started out having an elegant dinner with friends and ended up getting felt up by a stripper. The jury is still out as to whether that was a trick or treat…

Shaken AND Stirred

Rarely do we get to see ourselves from another person’s perspective. I had that opportunity this past Friday.

Those who know me know vodka is my drink of choice. It’s good enough for James Bond, so it’s good enough for me. I have quite an elaborate collection, too. If you know me, you probably also know that my refrigerator has nothing in it aside from a few odd condiments that rarely get used… and a chilled bottle of my best vodka.

So, when I offered my date a drink on Friday night, I shouldn’t have been too surprised at his bewildered reaction. Looking over the dozen or so bottles on my bar he finally asked, “Do you have ANYTHING other than vodka?” I swung open the fridge to check what I already knew. Gazing inside, he observed, “More vodka? You don’t even have anything to mix it with!” “That’s not true,” I replied, “I’ve got ICE!”