Brrrrrr-ing it on!

I haven’t been experiencing a lack of misadventures, but the ones I’ve had as of late I really don’t care to share. There are some misadventures that just aren’t pleasant to discuss. Instead, let’s talk about the weather.

I LOATHE cold weather and fall/winter comes FAR too early up here. Feeling totally gypped from a too-short summer, I decided to overcome my chills by thinking warm thoughts. Feeling cold is just in your head, right? All I can say is that no matter how many warm, positive thoughts of denial you think, it is still a bad idea to eat ice cream while walking through the streets of Old Town Alexandria on a 44° night.

Rock me like a hurricane

I turned 32 this week. To celebrate, the urban family took me to the most authentic "Louisiana" Po-Boy joint in town. It had been a while since I'd indulged in a hurricane - let alone four. That night I had the most bizarre dream: Two Amish men throw me into the back of a car. As we speed away, I think, NOT that it is strange I'm being kidnapped by the Amish, but rather, it is odd they are driving a car. They tell me I wear too much makeup, and then let me go.

Note to self: The Amish are not to be trusted - obviously, they have no idea what they are taking about. Oh, and next time, lay off the hallucinogenic hurricanes.

Friday the 13th missed misadventures

Although my day started with a nasty burn from a curling iron, I had the most amazingly fun evening. I met the urban family for dinner and our semi-annual trip to the 9:30 club for the Super Diamond concert. Past "Surreal Neil" shows are associated with their share of misadventures. Despite the fact it was Friday the 13th, this evening proved to be perfect.

None of us had to catch a plane the next day.
None of us got caught in a blizzard.
None of us had to spend over an hour in the coat check line.
None of us had to pee at a Metro station.
None of us took a "nap" in a bathroom stall.

All of us had a blast.

It was a good time with GREAT friends. And with friends like mine, I am very lucky indeed.

What a way to start the day

I am not going to beat around the bush. This has been one heck of a week. It's been extraordinarily bad. I've had some good times with friends, but overall, what a doozie. I'm not about to bore you with tales of woe. I will note though, that if you have a bad morning, you're more than likely going to have a bad day. To give you an idea of what a crappy week this has been, here's a rundown of this week's mornings.

Monday - Tripped and fell over seemingly nothing in my apartment
Tuesday - Severly scalded my right hand by spilling PIPING HOT chocolate all over it (not to mention the mess that made)
Wednesday - LITERALLY got up on the wrong side of the bed causing me to RUN INTO one of my bedposts
Thursday - Majorly stubbed my toe on the ottoman
Friday - Burned my forehead AND NECK with the curling iron

I was doomed from the start this week. Of course, I could just chalk all this up to the fact that I am not a morning person, but apparently I AM a tremendous klutz.

Delivery or PICKING UP?!?!

My friend Angey gave me a purse shaped like a Chinese take-out box as a gift. Everywhere I go, people comment on how it is so unique. The other night was a new one though. While out with a friend, a guy approached me, WENT ON about my purse for at least 10 MINUTES, and then asked if he could touch it. (???) That has GOT to be one of the oddest lines I've ever received. "Hey, can I touch your purse?" Is this seriously the best that guys can come up with now? I think "What's your sign" needs to make a comeback.

Spanglish

I don't speak Spanish. In addition, I don't speak broken English with a Spanish accent. This can cause problems. For example, on my recent trip to Miami, when we asked housekeeping for a rollaway "sleeper", we got an extra pair of slippers.

Earlier this week, I had to bring my car in for some routine maintenance. I live on a Metro station, so I just dropped off my car and took advantage of the dealership's shuttle service. My driver must not have had a valid license because he seemed to take every out-of-the-way, back road to get me to the station. The trip home took three times as long as it should have. To pass the time, the driver engaged me in conversation...

Driver: You have keys?
Mel: Yes. I grabbed the keys I need.
Driver: How many keys you have?
Mel: Uhhhhhhh. I dunno. Four?
Driver: Four keys? Wow. In school?
Mel: No. I graduated a while ago.
Driver: No. Not you. Your keys.
Mel: What?
Driver: Your keys in school?
Mel: Oh, KIDS! I don't have any kids.
Driver: What?
Mel: No keys.
Driver: Oh.

Do they make Rosetta Stone Software for this?

Very Nice. Whah Whah Wee Whah!

Friday proved to be a fun night with the urban family. The evening started with a quest for Kazakhstan journalist Borat (actor Sacha Baron Cohen was in town promoting his movie) and ended with a very interesting picture message from Jen of a shirtless Rob. At least he waited until they hit the parking lot to take it off. I managed to keep all my clothes in tact, but did learn a valuable lesson - Vodka and chocolate cake does not a meal make.